A guy and his

A guy and his girlfriend
went to commit suicide on top
of a 10 storey building so dat
God can officiate their
wedding in
heaven. The plan was to jump
off d building at the same time at
the count of three. So,
After
the count, the guy
…
jumped off
but the girl did’nt jump.
she
looked back and said: Love is
blind but am not blind.
she
then walked away As the
Guy got to the air, He
opened his parachute and said:
Though, Im
madly in love, But not
mad to
die for “LOVE”. Now the
Question is who cheated
between
the two of
them?
Pls b honest.

The Boy

GIRL;”OMG! It’s our 5 year anniversary today.
BOY;”Oh.”
GIRL;”You forgot didn’t you!”
BOY;”O-of course not..”
GIRL; “Yeah you did! I can tell when you’re lying. I can’t believe after 5 years you forget this day!”
BOY; “But babe, I’m sorry.”
GIRL; “No. Shut up! I’m gonna go and cool off.”
BOY; “Wait babe!”
*The girl rushes off the house.*
*The boy gets his phone*
BOY; “Hey, meet me at my house now. She’s gone.”
-an hour later-
*The girl’s phone rings*
GIRL; “Hello?”
BOY; “Babe, where are you?”
GIRL; “You know where.”
BOY; “Creamaria?”
GIRL; “You know I like to eat ice cream when I’m sad.”
BOY; “I’ll be there.”
-10 minutes later-
*The boy walks up the the girl. He was wearing a tuxedo.*
GIRl; “Why are you dressed up?”
BOY; “Just come with me my princess.”
*The boys offers her a hand and she gladly takes it*
-The arrive at his house-
BOY; “Be ready for the time of you life.”
GIRL; “Okay.”
*When the door opened there was a table for two and rose petals on the ground trailing to the table.*
BOY; “Let’s eat.”
GIRl; “Oh my gosh, thi-this is amazing.”
BOY; “All for you my love.. but wait.”
*The boy runs to a room and back*
BOY; “A princess needs a tiara…but my future wife deserves a ring.”
*The girl’s eyes water*
BOY; “I’ve always loved you. I wanted to make this perfect. Will YOU marry me?”
GIRL; “YES! YES I would!”
*He stands up and kisses her in the lips.*
GIRl; “I can’t believe this.”
BOY; “Well believe it my princess.”

husband Wife

Funny husband wife joke on over clever mind wife.

Wife comes home late at night
and quietly opens the door to her bedroom

From under the blanket
she sees four legs instead of two

She reaches for a cricket bat
and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can

Once she’s done,
she goes to the kitchen to have a drink

As she enters,
she sees her husband there, reading a magazine

“hi darling”, he says
“your parents have come to visit us
so I let them stay in our bedroom
hope you have said
hello to them

Whatsup

girl- hey
boy-hi
girl-whats up?
boy- nothing , thinking, wbu?
girl- ohhh nothingg, what you thinkin about?
boy- this one girl , shes amazing but she hates me.
girl-ohhh sorry
boy- yeah well i gtg bye
girl-bye
girl-waiiittt!
boy- what?
girl-831.
boy-ok? idk what that is bye
(boy get offline)
girl- it mean i love you 8 letter 3 words 1 meaning, iloveyou(:

My wife

My wife said to me recently, “your is too small, I can hardly feel it inside me.”I replied, “actually it’s perfectly average, maybe you’re
the problem.”She said, “what are you saying?”I replied, “well, if you park a limousine in a football stadium, is it the limousine’s fault it doesn’t touch both sets of
goal posts?”That shut her up. –

Real Men

Gf .. Hi
Bf.. Hi
Gf.. What’s Your Pln For Tonight
Bf.. Gaming
Gf .. What About $ex ?
Bf.. Nothin About
Gf.. Are You Gay
Bf .. No I m Real Men
Gf .. How
Bf.. Every Men’s Week Point Is $ex
But Not Mine So M Real Men

HUSBAND and his WIFE

HUSBAND and his WIFE were sitting
quietly in bed reading when his
wife looks at him and asked;

WIFE : “What would you do if I
die?
Would you get married
again?”
HUSBAND : “Definitely not!
WIFE : “Why not? Don’t you like
being married?”
HUSBAND : “Of course I do.”
WIFE :”Then why wouldn’t you
remarry?”
HUSBAND : “Okay, okay, I’d get
married again.”
WIFE : “You would?” (with a hurt
look)
HUSBAND : (makes audible groan)
WIFE:”Would you live in our
house?”
HUSBAND : “Sure, it’s a great
house.”
WIFE : “Would you sleep with her
in our bed?”
HUSBAND : “Where else would we
sleep?”
WIFE : “Would you let her drive my
car?”
HUSBAND : “Probably, it is almost
new.”
WIFE : “Would you replace my
pictures with hers?”
HUSBAND : “That would seem like
the proper thing to do.”
WIFE : “Would you give her my
jewellery?”
HUSBAND : “No, I’m sure she’d
want her own.”
WIFE : “Would she wear my
shoes”
HUSBAND : “No, she’s SIZE 6.”
WIFE : — silence –
HUSBAND : OH SHIT!!”=)) =)) =))

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